My life is Brilliant!!

THIS GAP, this generation gap, its killing me!!!! I have multiple shoes to fill in at the same time. It’s funny and I am  laughing while writing this down. I seriously don’t know what I want!! Haha!!! I guess, that’s goooood in a way. Everything’s good!! The exact reason I believe is, I don’t like rules, what so ever, in any form. I want my life to be free flowing. But at the same time, I am bound by some of these rules or rather I’d just say obligations. And they primarily are all-important.

It is wonderfully surprising how my mind works. When I am near some one near or dear I would want them to be happy. I feel, I have to live for them and not hurt them in any way. I have been this kind, all my life, at least till now. But when other worldly intentions take over, it is utter chaos. I am not clear anymore of what is important and what is not!! Which path should I choose and which not!!

I have known the reason for a long time. It’s this GAP which I am talking about. I want to live two parallel lives, simultaneously, one which is a few decades old and the other which is the present, the western-Indian way. One is peaceful and the other is exciting. The latter constantly thrills you. But, you need both to identify yourself. Live just one and you’ll miss the other thing. In fact, I now realize that I am lucky in a way to experience both. I am pretty sure, not many can handle such situations. They’d just run away, cos it’s too damn hard!!!

So, which one should I choose? I know which one I want, but won’t take that cos it’s crowded and unpleasant a lot of times. But I’ll keep trying to build this bridge which will allow me to go to either side without any hindrance. If there is any impediment, damn it, I’ll just kick that aside. My life is brilliant!!

I do want to do….do what???

What happens out there in the wild is happening to me now: “You know, when you have to keep running, to stay alive all the time and yet you want to have fun!!”. I feel as though there is nothing more burdensome to load my already fucked up life. My baggage is getting heavier day by day. I ain’t a fucking George Clooney to just throw, all that’s in my bag, up in the air and keep flying. I ain’t one of those guys who does things either (I don’t talk much too (exception, her!). Now you tell me who am I…wait!! I don’t want no fucking nobody, to tell me some fucking thing!!).

I am walking on that thin line. I don’t even know if there is a line. It’s always two extremes. And even if there is a line, it is sharp. Fucking sharp!! Always trying to push me to one of those ugly sides. The voice is getting louder!! The heart is beating faster!! The curd is getting thinner!! Do I have a choice? I fucking don’t have a clue but I gotta make one. Why do I keep asking questions to which I already know the answers??? I now, am not, the Professor.

Life gives you choices. Beautiful choices. But they don’t stay beautiful forever, unless you choose them to be. Perception of the mankind changes, fore’er. But hold on to it, if you don’t want things to get real ugly!!! There ain’t going to be no good thing that’s going to happen, over me hollering like Janice (Oh! My! God! Chandler Bing! ehaaaahaaaahaaaah – am sorry, I can’t match her howl. No wait! I’m not sorry! Fuck You, if you think I did it wrong.). And nobody on WordPress is going to cry on my behalf too. WTF!! Who cares!!

I am irritating, but equally amazing too. Why don’t people see that thing? Why don’t things happen on their own? It’s on me!!! Every little thing!! But, I choose not to do a fucking thing. You know why? Cos am fucking tired. I don’t wanna keep shouting, cos I go mad. I don’t wanna keep fighting, cos I get harmed. I do want to do….do what???

She’s got it!

She’s got the smile,
that melts my heart;

It’s the best of smiles,
that anyone’s got;

I wait for her to start a talk,
And fall for her like the midnight dark;

And then, I start praising her,
For she’s the only thing in my mind;

It’s as good as death,
When I don’t listen to her;
But it’s so better than heaven,
As I attend to her;
Show me something more wonderful,
And I’ll end this world, tuneful;

She sings for me with charm,
which keeps my heart warm;

She talks to me with delight,
which for me is the day light;

She freaks at me with ease,
which flows at me like a breeze;

Every single word of her,
priceless for this mortal creature;

As I cuddle in the corner with joy,
She, the immortal fall upon me like the Troy;

Every second without her,
is a million lives in isolation;
For, when I miss her,
my heart aches truly;

But, all that I need is to see her smile;

Just Wonderful!

There I was, just outside, waiting for her,
To get a glimpse of my angel, for, a wonder she is;
But, I didn’t gather, that it was an earned one;

Thence I waited for days, decades and centuries in isolation,
As every second, without her, was a millenary in itself;
And then the cosmos turned their attention to me,
For she was their life too, their potion of existence;

The grit there, perturbed, rose above the ground,
Filled my lungs, entered every pore and turned felony;

The treelets grew vast and huge, from soft to hard,
only to suck the air around, to suffocate me;
I choked at the changes, bewildered at the evolution;

Thy arms grazed wild, a raging storm, a similar kind;
With fire born out of it, the sun melted away,
And a thousand of them fell on me, to burn their marks;

Thy barriers broke, a savage, in full flow,
Drowned I, suffering in pain, in the torrent;
As brutal as it gets, as sore I did feel,
With thy wish to see her, in my heart;

Trees grew into plants, the grit to sculpts;
Fires turned into flies, the downpour arrested;
Flowers blossomed, the stars filled their berths;
In all, a paradise worked, to welcome thy princess;

With mellifluous tones and a nifty breeze,
I dwelled in the sweetness of Eden;
If ever there was anything better, I was thinking;

And then, she appeared, as a light in the making,
As pure a sight, as delightful my heart;
I fell on my knees, clutching my hair, in awe;

My darling!! I like anything and everything about you.

Miss You!!

I checked my mobe a thousand times, to see a hi for once;
I thought about you a million times, to see if it served me hence;

I listen to your voice within and so I be in existence;
Thy hope to hear is alive and so I last in this silence;

I look at colors, women, creation and the whole around me;
Yet, I fail to feel ye presence and they lay in place around me;

They pulled my flesh, ripped my heart and crushed its roots;
I allowed them with blood oozing out, but, thus far I didn’t die;

Hitherto, I felt, I was the strongest of hearts;
But, I went down like the weakest of flowers in the slowest of winds;

I wait for your presence to recall my soul,
Which right now is wandering around unartful;

Microstory Mania!!

Those 10 hours

I was feeling like a withered tree eagerly awaiting spring. And then, my phone rang. Like a spring buck pronking, I ran towards it and picked it up. It was her. That voice of hers, it’s the elixir of my life. A few more seconds and I were to become a mortal. I had been waiting since morning to listen to her. She is a savior too now.

She gabbed for a while and said, “I have to go”.

I replied, “What have you done to me?”

She smiled. I clutched my hair. It was agony in ecstasy. Come another spring.

I got slapped

I could not move my eyes away from her. My mouth was wide open and I was drooling. How beautiful? Impressive embonpoint. And before I could grasp her image, Gitu appeared. “Oopsie!!”

She said amusingly, “You pervert!! Turn away. Don’t look at her. Don’t look at her.”

I did not take heed. “Thump!!” a slap and she grinned.

“It’s Liv Tyler. The LOTR. The TV!! And I was…I was just looking at her.” Now, I grinned.

“Yeahh..I know.” She then vanished.

“No Liv. No nobody.” Save thy cheeks.

How do I feel?

I closed my eyes thinking about you,
I saw your face. Your face alone, vividly.
I then smiled as I din’t know how it worked.
Then I whined as you were fading away.

I cursed my mind as it dint listen to my heart.
I then opened my eyes only to see you in front of me.
Perchance, my psyche heard my heart’s appeal.

Transfixed was I, l’king at you, unaware of what to do.
I had then asked you, to sit down with me, for a while.
For which, you laughed and said no.

I fell out and started laughing like a charlie.
A whisper and then you vanished. Only this time, I wasn’t worried.
Lucky me, I already captured the image of my life.

Here and there,
I see your face;
Then and there,
I see you smile;
Day by day,
I talk to you;
Night after night,
I sleep after you;

Second after second,
I think about you;
Moment after moment,
I laugh around you;
Age after age,
I die in joy;
Time after time,
I incarnate myself;

Every time around,
When u say, “I’ll kill you”,
I die and resurrect;
If those words go untrue,
I’d die an eternal death.

Death Knell for Nokia???

 

Not so soon!!! A lot of speculation about Nokia’s way of doing things these days. It all started with it’s smart phone OS strategy. According to me, the biggest failure with Nokia is it’s Symbian OS. I cannot understand how they failed to predict the effects of IOS and Android. They have been the biggest threat to Nokia.

It’s difficult to understand how an Operating System alone can bring an empire down on it’s knees. It doesn’t matter how big Nokia was, the two top OS’s are spelling doom for the mobile manufacturing giant.

The aftermath has been deterioration, at least till now. And now Nokia has got bigger problems. Since Symbian 3 isn’t cool (yeah cool!!!! OS es have to be cool these days), there aren’t too many apps in the market. Developers have started to move on to Android and IOS to make money. This means more and more followers for these two operating systems and more and more buyers of Apple and Android phones.

HTC after making the decision to manufacture Android phones has benefited largely. Even though it has it’s own line of Windows 7 phones, the popularity of HTC has largely increased after it adopted Android.

But, such competition is normal these days. Mobile manufacturers have been releasing new handsets every month. Upgrades to software, new apps, robust hardware etc., are helping the sales of smart phones like never before. This is exponential development. I wonder what will be the case when Singularity approaches.

Whatever the case is, I firmly believe that this is not the end for Nokia. She has been in the market for so long, no wonder she’ll bounce back. Though many critics have not backed her decision to adopt Windows OS, it might prove fruitful in the long run.

The worry is, the comeback has to happen soon. In fact very soon. And Nokia releasing N9 with MEEGO in it (Just hope it isn’t too late!!!) is heartwarming. Because Meego has got some future. The teasers so far have been cool. And with Nokia having choices now, which others do not, it can cater to different needs of consumers. Meego, Windows Mango and Symbian 3. That’s not a bad collection – but every OS is primitive, which is obviously a problem. But, Nokia can now concentrate on design, hardware and support. Because Meego’s for Intel and Windows has a bright future with Microsoft. Symbian 3 as we all know will be dead in a few years and hence not too much R&D is required in the near future.

All Nokia has to do now is to win back it’s loyal customers. There will hardly be a problem with Nokia’s hardware capabilities. All it has to do is concentrate on software which she is already doing. It might take sometime, but for good. Moreover, Nokia seem to be investing good on it’s OVI store. As a user, I feel there have been a lot of improvements of late.

The only concern for me is the firmware update for Symbian 3. It has been so long that people have started to move away from Nokia handsets. That’ s the most sensitive thing Nokia has to work on. Retain and win back consumers!!!!! It’s gonna be fine. Just fine.

Were Poets great Lovers?

With GREAT being the key word in the title, I have always wondered if it were true that poets were great lovers. Ever since my school days when teachers used to read out poems which sounded gorgeous about women (Gorgeous exactly like women!!!! ), I have been constantly amazed by works of great men.

Would it be possible to imagine some woman, love her in your dreams and write about them as well? Perhaps yes!!!! There are a few who can achieve that or in fact anything without difficulty. But whats more intriguing is the kind of feelings these men bring out when it comes to women. Amazing!!!! Just amazing!!!!!

You can keep reading such thoughts again and again and again. If you were a guy with higher EQ, you mite even be in tears. Were these guys madly in love while they came up with such master pieces??? I guess, Yes. It is sometimes difficult to appreciate a woman or her love unless you actually feel her warmth. This kind of expression in words has no bounds when there is a lost case of a woman.

Wat’s sad according to me is that these guys aren’t known as great lovers like their characters. They are writing talent. At the most, a genius, but neverknown as a great lover.

Now how’s dat for a thought?????

Just Like That

I am either busy or lazy!!!

The weekend is going to be fun in Chennai, the land of ummmmm…Everything!! Mood swings lately. Less amount of work is keeping me dry. Hope this trip to home will be of some help. A hell lot of things are happening around me. It’s bad that am only a PART of these things. Just observing!!!! A new friend, new telly and marriages everywhere – colleagues, relatives, friends and their siblings. I attended a few and wished the rest on FB.

My horoscope has cool things to talk about these days. But I ain’t seeing any such thing happening. Bloody hell!!! I ain’t even experiencing a normal life. Am talking a lot about Maria, playing ping pong (have just started ), surfing, chatting and a lot of uncommon stuff – am doing these @ work. If you think it was cool, believe me it is not!!!

I have taken a few decisions about my writing – first thing is to improve (in all spheres). Obviously . It’s not helping me in my current state. I wont mind taking up classes in this regard. I wish I were ready to take the plunge.

I am also starting to like the term Psychology these days. According to me, it’s all about human behavior which is very interesting. Social Psychology is my immediate bet. I want to read a lot about it.

Waiting for my Kindle (for a very long time). Hope it helps. .